Stu Stirlin

Hey Stu A-Hole,

This is one of your former “beav” conquests who you got drunk on Crown & Coke and took advantage of.

I think I speak for all of us fools that fell for you:  F You, you no good piece of sh%$!  I hope you rot in jail and die!

You think it’s funny to treat girls like a piece of garbage? I tell you what is funny….How small your fleshy tic-tac is!

That’s right Stu Man has a tiny d$#@!

I want all your precious beav to find out before they are seduced by your completely chramless ways.  I hope this post gets more hits than your ass gets in jail!

Lucky for you I’ve got to get going.  I owe your pal DBD a HJ for giving me access to your blog.  He’s a douche bag just like you.

FU sincerely,

A pissed off former beav victim

As all you dumbasses know, Stu Man like politics. Stu Man rocks the vote by writing in “Stu Man” for every presidential election.  (Stu Man is also the founding member of the “Mass” Party. JOIN US OR SHAVE UR SHASH!) When all you dumbasses wake up and smell the beav and vote “Stu Man”,  Stu Man will become “Stu Prez”.  Stu Man has already written sweet speech for when it happens:

“Good Evening my fellow dumbasses.  Stu Prez comes to you from Oval Office where Stu Prez just shagged some sweet beav.  You like? When Stu Prez was elected, he promised hope & change.  HOPE that we’d get rid of all of the dumbasses out there and CHANGE in the constitution from “Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” to “Liberty and the Pursuit of Beav”.  These are the foundations upon which Stu Prez was elected and Stu Prez promises to make these cornerstones of his campaign a reality.  You like doo doo Americans?

Therefore, Stu Prez is announcing to tonight, The Stumanulus Plan.  This sweet package is not about giving out mass cash.  It is about sweet package Stu Prez has in pants.  Stu Prez will stimulate beav across this great nation.  Where ever sweet beav aching, mass bopping Stu Prez making. Stu Prez’s sweet rod will stimulate the economy back to greatness. Stu Prez vows to mass stimulate all the way to China if necessary.  One thing is certain, Stu Prez will be mass bopping in the White House like it’s the 1990’s again.

Thank you and God bless dumbasses.

Damn! Just got done watching the movie, “Top Gun” A sweet fighter pilot movie from the 80’s starring Tom Cruise.  You Like?

So why does Stu Man like “Top Gun” so much?

• “You can be my wingman anytime!”
• A bunch of sweaty buff guys with sweet pecs playing volleyball shirtless to the song, “Playin’! Playin’ with the Boys!“
• Maverick & Goose are mass studs in sweet white Navy outfits.
• TOM CRUISE! Need Stu Man say more?

April Fools in August Dumbass!!! You think a beav lovin’ stud like Stu Man like “Top Gun”? Stu Man had to watch mass porn with mass Beav eating to get this mass Beav hatin’ movie out of Stu Man’s head.  The only one that likes Beav in this movie is Kelly McGillis.  The rest played grab shash with each other the whole time.

Here’s a famous scene from the never released, full Beav hatin’ version of the movie script Stu Man found on the internets.  The original title of the movie was “Top Shash Gun“, but they dropped the “Shash“.

Iceman: You two really are colon cowboys.

Maverick: What’s your problem, Kazanski? No one’s tapped ur shash lately?

Iceman: You’re everyone’s problem. That’s because every time you go up in the air, you grab Goose’s stick. I don’t like you because you hate beav.

Maverick: That’s right! Ice… man. I am a beav hater. Skittles!!!!!! (gratuitous shirtless make out scene)

So Stu Man is mass bummed about reviewing this movie.  After watching this pansy parade you’ll feel the need, the need for beav. That’s what Stu Man gets for taking movie recommendation from hot beav. In case you don’t believe Stu Man about how beav hatin’ this movie is, check out the links below.  Dumbass.

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/topgun/playingwiththeboys.htm

Warning!  These images are super beav hatin’. View with caution. http://www.topgunday.com/images/

Damn! Stu Man took hot beav to see movie “Funny People” last night.  Highlight for Stu Man was doing popcorn trick.  She reach for popcorn and instead she grab Stu Man’s sweet rod! You like?

If you ask Stu Man, this movie should be called, Dumbass People. For two and half hours Stu Man had to watch a bunch of dumbasses acting like dumbasses.  The main guy, some dumbass named George was going to die.  Instead of shagging as much beav as possible, he starts crying about “the one that got away”.  Hey dumbass!  She has two kids now!  Kids get in the way of eating beav and drinking crown and coke. Damn doo doo!  Get ur head out of ur shash!

The other D-bag was named Ira.  He was afraid of beav.  He was like, “What’s this beav?  I’m so scared!”  Hey dumbass, GIVE LADY CROWN AND COKE AND BOP THE BEAV! Damn, it’s not hard.

The best part of this movie was “Raaaaaaaandy”!  This guy is NOT a dumbass.  If you ask Stu Man, this guy should have been whole movie.  He was a comedian who talked about bopping the whole crowd in the shash.  That’s funny!

For most part, Stu Man was busy finger bopping hot date, so Stu Man didn’t pay attention to movie.  If you like Jud Apidumbass movies, then go see it. Stu Man would have liked to see some giant Beav like we did in “Knocked Up”, but whatever.  Just be sure to sneak some Crown in for ur Coke.

On a dumbass scale of 1 to 5 Stu Man give it 4 dumbasses and a HA-WHO!

There’s a lot of dumbasses out there with reality TV shows that suck.  They go around doin’ dumbass crap like talking and giving birth to cows.

Stu Man reality show would do sweet crap like bopping, beav eating, making fun of dumbasses, and showing off mass pecs and thighs.  Stu Man would have friends like Crab Daddy & Beer Man hanging out talking about how much Beav Stu Stud scores.  Stu Man would have constant bashes at Stu Pad where hot beav would be all over the place and Stu Man would offer them Crown & Cokes.  You like?  Of course you like because all other reality shows suck!

Possible titles for Stu Man’s Sweet Reality Show:

• Leave it to Stu Man to Eat Beav
• Stu Man Masster of the Universe
• Greatest American Beaver
• Two and Half Beavs
• Everybody Loves Stu Man
• Three’s Company and who wants their beav ate?
• Gilmore Girls gets bopped by Stu Man

These are just a few of the possible massive amount of sweet titles for Stu Man’s show. If  some you dumbasses comment possible names for a show and show ideas, Stu Man could get this show rolling. Until then, ur stuck with crap like the T.O. Show.

A lot of you dumbasses are on “Facebook” now.  You think it’s cool to collect “friends” because you didn’t have any in high school.  Some how having 300 dumbass “friends” makes you the cat’s shash. Well take it from Stu Man, you still a dumbass! dumbass! dumbass! doo doo! doo doo! doo doo!

Instead of taking dumbass quizzes all day like:  ”How big of a dumbass am I?” you should be out scoring beav.  If you’re a lady, you should be out giving up the beav to Stu Man.

And what’s this Mafia Wars crap?  Let’s play Mafia Wars! You’ve just collected 1000 dumbass points. How ’bout playing: Pin the beav on Stu Man’s mouth?

Just to see what you dumbasses are up to, Stu Man went ahead and set up his own facebook.

Here’s a sample of Stu Man’s Facebook:

What’s on your mind? How much beav will I eat today.

Stu Man has sent you a virtual Crown & Coke. You like!

Stu Man has become a fan of DUMBASSES KEEPING THEIR SHASHS SHUT!

Sex: Eight times a day

Relationship Status: As much Mass Beav as I can get (had to make up my own category)

So after careful consideration, Stu Man would like to suggest a better idea than facebook:  Join Dumbassbook because that’s what you are! Dumbass!