Damn!
Check out Stu Man’s sweet podcast. Prepare your dumbass to be blown away.
Stu’s First Podcast (To unleash Stu Man’s awesome verbal powers, click link. Then click it again dumbass! Doesn’t play with Windows Media Player shash holes!)
Stu Man likes to watch hot beav on TV. When Stu Man was younger, there was nothing better than the fine beav on Saved by the Bell. Here’s a scence Stu Man came up with back in the day called, “Saved by the Beav”.
Kelly: Hey Lisa, what happened to Zack?
Lisa: I don’t know, but I heard the new guy is a dream boat!
Kelly: Oh that guy! I think his name is Stu.
Stu Stirlin: (enters to super loud applause) E-AW! Stu. Stu Stirlin. You like?
Jesse: I like! I like! Uh A.C., take a hike. Stu is way more ripped than you!
A.C.: But mama? I thought you loved me?
Stu: Hey dumbass, you heard the lady. Beat it before I kick ur shash!
A.C.: I’m sorry Stu! You are way more mass than I ever could be.
Screech: Ohh! Did somebody say there’s a new kid in town?
Stu: That’s right dumbass! Shut ur shash! (Stu punches Screech’s dumbass lights out. Fine beav applauds.)
Lisa, Jesse & Kelly in unison: Oh Stu! You are so mass!
Stu: Everybody knows a turd bucket like Screech would never fraternize with hot beav .
Mr. Belding: Hey hey hey what’s going on here!
Stu: This is what’s going on here dumbass! (POW! Stu Man knocks out Mr. Belding. All of Gayside High applauds Stu Man’s act of Massness).
Stu: Schools out! Now who want Crown and Cokes with Stu Man doo doos? (Stu Man walk out with Jesse, Lisa & Kelly on his junk.)
You like sweet beav surrounded by dumbasses?
So a lot of you dumbasses out there have made some dumbass accusations about Stu Man using the word “Dumbass” too much. Let me tell you dumbasses something. When all you dumbasses stop acting like dumbasses, then Stu Man stop using word dumbass so much. As you see below, Stu Man can use the word “dumbass” as a noun, verb or adjective:
Noun: This dumbass is about to get his shash kicked.
Verb: Henry spent the day dumbassing at the beach.
Adjective: Yes officer, he looks like a dumbass.
If ur dumbass can find a more effective word than dumbass, then let Stu Man know dumbass!
Until then:
Damn! Stu Man took hot beav to see movie “Funny People” last night. Highlight for Stu Man was doing popcorn trick. She reach for popcorn and instead she grab Stu Man’s sweet rod! You like?
If you ask Stu Man, this movie should be called, Dumbass People. For two and half hours Stu Man had to watch a bunch of dumbasses acting like dumbasses. The main guy, some dumbass named George was going to die. Instead of shagging as much beav as possible, he starts crying about “the one that got away”. Hey dumbass! She has two kids now! Kids get in the way of eating beav and drinking crown and coke. Damn doo doo! Get ur head out of ur shash!
The other D-bag was named Ira. He was afraid of beav. He was like, “What’s this beav? I’m so scared!” Hey dumbass, GIVE LADY CROWN AND COKE AND BOP THE BEAV! Damn, it’s not hard.
The best part of this movie was “Raaaaaaaandy”! This guy is NOT a dumbass. If you ask Stu Man, this guy should have been whole movie. He was a comedian who talked about bopping the whole crowd in the shash. That’s funny!
For most part, Stu Man was busy finger bopping hot date, so Stu Man didn’t pay attention to movie. If you like Jud Apidumbass movies, then go see it. Stu Man would have liked to see some giant Beav like we did in “Knocked Up”, but whatever. Just be sure to sneak some Crown in for ur Coke.
On a dumbass scale of 1 to 5 Stu Man give it 4 dumbasses and a HA-WHO!
A lot of you dumbasses write me asking how my pecs are so sweet and so mass. Beside being gifted by God, Stu Man hits the gym everyday. The gym is also great way to meet mass beav.
Here is Stu Man’s gym routine:
Now you know Stu Man’s secret to mass pecs. Any you dumbasses need more advice, leave a comment for Stu Stud. Off to shave chest!
A lot of you dumbasses want to know what is “Stumanese”? How can I speak Stumanese? How can I live “Stumanese”? Well listen up dumbass because Stu Class is now in session.
Stu Man’s Favorite Terms:
“Dumb ass!”: That you.
“Shut ur Shash!”: This means shut your mouth before I kick ur ass.
“E-Aw!”: This mean E-Aw!
“You like?”: This mean admire Stu Man’s greatness.
“Doo Doo“: That’s you again only this time Stu Man in good mood.
“Shave ur Shash!”: This mean trim ur disgusting hairy ass.
“Nice or Very Nice“: When Stu Man get mass beav with crown & cokes.
“Negator”: The opposite of Very Nice!
“Mass”: This mean tons of. Like Stu Man has mass pecs or Stu Man is so mass.
“You like crown & coke doo doo?”: The answer always “Yes, I like!” because if you didn’t, you be MASS DUMBASS!!!!!
The Mass Moods of Stu Man:
Stu Scam: When I scam chicks or mass cash.
Stu Stud: When I buy crown & coke for ladies and getting mass beav.
Stu Dog: Friends like Crab Daddy or Beer Man get permission to call Stu Man this. You like to be in elite group doo doo?
Stu Doo Doo: Kinder, gentler side of Stu Man
Stu ___: This mean Stu Man reserve right to stick anything after name.
As you can see, learning ways of STUMANESE is vast and mass. It takes dumbasses like you years to become sweet & mass like Stu Man. Be not afraid. That’s why Stu Man start blog. To spread word about being mass, kicking shash, and scoring mass beav with best friend, Crown & Coke. Now you leave comments for Stu Man! E-AW!