Stu Stirlin

Hello,

My name is Crab Daddy.  I’m one of Stu’s best friends.  Unfortunately Stu has been arrested and is currently in the county lock up facility.  Because of the amount of scams and illegal activity that Stu is in to, it is hard to be sure what he’s really being charged with.  He told me he’s being “mass scammed by the system” and the “MAN can go F himself”.

Stu has implored me to post a letter to his 8-12 fans(depending on the day).  While Stu is in jail, he hopes to still post.  In the event that he cannot, he has arranged for guest posts.  As he put it, “no dumbass can post as great as Stu Man, but since everybody’s a dumbass, it probably doesn’t matter if a dumbass posts to dumbasses”.   Now, with out further “adoo doo”, our friend, our brave hero: Stu Man.  Oh and one more thing, and I believe I speak for all of us, watch your corn hole in there Stu Man.

Dear dumbasses,

You like Stu Jail Bird behind bars doo doo?  Stu Man is being extorted by unsweet beav and something they call tax evasion.  Not nice!  Through mass technicalities, Stu Man can’t get out of county pen.  Apparently some dumbass froze all of Stu Man’s mass cash.   Stu Man is confident he will beat this bogus wrap.  And when Stu Man is a free, he will put on some wicked tight jeans, drink crown & coke, and bop mass beav.

Stu Man is determined to make the most of his time in the slammer.  Stu Stud has already finger bopped female attorney on visitation.  She agreed to take the case in exchange for mass bopping. She called it “pro-boner”.  I call it Very Nice!  She said, “if you weren’t so good with ur rod, I’d let you rot in here”.  Whatever dumbass lawyer.  Just get my shash out of here.

Stu Man promises to keep everyone abreast of what’s going on.  In the mean time Stu Stud is going to scam some ‘roids and get mass buff working out.

Sincerely dumbasses,

Stu Jail Bird

“Hey ladies, u like tight orange jumpsuit?” E-AW!!!!!

Obama is tryin’ to come up with a sweet new Health Care Plan for all you dumbasses out there. Congress keeps rejecting his shash. So Stu Man decided to come up with Stu Man’s Health Care Plan for congress to mass pass:

-Unlimited Crown & Coke for everyone: It would make for mass mass bopping.  Dumbasses everywhere would be saying, “Thank You Obama for free Crown & Cokes, E-AW!

-Force weak asses to do mass ‘roids:  Stu Man tired of see all these wussies runnin’ around with no mass pecs or mass thighs.  If they refuse the ‘roids then kick their shashes.

-Subsidize beav for dumbasses:  There are dumbasses out there that can’t get bopped even with Crown & Coke.  Cuts down on dumbasses be all mental ’cause they can’t get beav.

-Universal coverage of Stumanese classes: For everyone to be truly mass, they must be fluent in Stumanese.  Then Stu Man can make mass cash off dumbasses as instructor.

-Tax dumbasses for being dumbasses: Turns out there’s a lot of dumbasses out there acting like dumbasses.  This tax would easily cover everything.

Stu Man is not claiming to be an “expert” in EVERYTHING, but Stu Man knows about being mass.  If Obama and administration can embrace the ways of Stumanese, we all would be mass healthy. Can Stu Man get an E-AW! E-AW!